To my friend...

Don't Tell Me...
Don't tell me that you understand, don't tell me that you know,
Don't tell me that I will survive, how I will surely grow.
Don't tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed,
That I am chosen for this task, apart from all the rest.
Don't come at me with answers that can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass, that I will soon be free.
Don't stand in pious judgment of the bonds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to suffer, don't tell me how to cry.
My life is filled with selfishness, my pain is all I see,
But I need you, I need your love, unconditionally.
Accept me in my ups and downs, I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry, and say,
"My friend, I really do care."

My fishies

Hayden and Nana

Emily on her 19th trip down the slide

Ready to head to McDonalds for Happy Meals. Lots of fun was had by everyone.

On Wednesday Mom, the kids, and I went to Olney's water park. Don't know how many of you have been there, but it's very nice. My only complaint, no concession stand. The kids loved the water slide...Emily mastered the diving board solo. I think we may need to invest in a pool of our own in a few years.

Happy Birthday Meme

Happy Birthday to my Mem today. I know she won't see this, she hasn't ever touched a computer, but if anyone sees her today, tell her to enjoy her 82nd birthday. She is a great joy in my life and my kids lives.

I did it...I really did it

Today, after getting the news I have another nephew...Jackson Robert Baltzell, 4lbs 11oz and 2 months early, I took all ALL of Emily's clothes to Anita Thompsons re-sale shop on the square. If you know me, you know I have had drama with what to do with her outfits. First I thought about E-bay, but it took too much time. Then I tried a garage sale, and even though I made some mad cash, I didn't sell nearly enough to make a dent in the amount. Next, I hauled all the clothes to Once Upon a Child...not a good experience to say the least and I believe I blogged about it.
After all this, the clothes have been sitting in my basement.

Today was the day, I was not turning back. I went in with 5 totes, 2 garbage bags, and a laundry basket full of clothes. I dropped them off and I didn't look back. I hope they go to good homes and are taken care of. I feel personel connections to her Sarah Louise hand smocked dresses and Indigo painted outfits. All her Ralph Lauren, Tommy, Gap, Le Top, Mimi and Maggie...I will let go, just not today.

Last day of school

Emily's first year of school has came and went. I can't tell you how much she has learned in the last 9 months...just to name a few, she now can spell her name, identify all her letters and numbers and is beginning to spell other words and read, knows her phone number, and address. She is like a little sponge! Jamie Sandschafer is outstanding, I can't say enough about her. Now, how am I going to entertain her for the next 3 months?

Emily's last day of school

Emily before Pre-K orientation

Busy May Part 2.

Holly Farley reminded me I had gotten my hair cut this month. With everything else going on, I had actually forgotten. I thought I would include a picture, at her request...

Emily, Hayden, and me on Mother's Day. I love this picture, it shows the difference in my kids personalities.

Its short, but I needed a change and a summer do. I actually had it cut while Hank was in STL for a week. He came home and didn't hardly recognize me. He likes it...or he says he does. It's so much easier, especially in the hospital and now.

Tomorrow is a big day for me, I am getting these dreadful staples removed. For all of you readers who hasn't had staples, they are not pleasant. They get caught on undies and I am pretty sure my skin is starting to grow around them. My only fear is that I will bust open and my precious remaining ovary will fall out ;> Hahaha...lol, can you imagine the luck.

Another busy May

For the past few years May seems to bring big changes in our home. Two years ago Hayden was born, what a wonderful addition he was and continues to be. Last year I got the girls ()(), Hank would agree they are as much of a wonderful addition to the family as Hayden. Also, I graduated last year with my BSN. This year was not not to be left behind. It started out pretty normal, Angie, Heather, Darleen, and I went to a Cardinal Game early in the month. I hadn't been to the ballpark since I was a little girl, I had so much fun. The new stadium is really nice.

Angie, Heather, and I in front of Stadium...GO CARDS!

The beautiful Darleen Calvert

The guy sitting next to me who caught a foul ball.

The Week after the game I went for my annual "appointment" with NP Nicole. She is great by the way, super easy to talk to about anything. I had been having some issues for the past 11 years with endometriosis and she knew my history. Hayden's birth brought no relief, and the last year its gotten worse. After discussing many pros and cons with Nicole, I decided to have a hysterectomy. I know I am 30 and otherwise healthy, but I am also done with the chronic pain and bloatness. I assumed I would be scheduled for a month or 6 weeks later...oh no 10 days. Great, I had Hayden's birthday and my new semester to start within those 10 days, but I accepted the challenge. Obviously, if I am going to be off work for 6 weeks, this is the best time to be off. Plus, if I had too much time to think about my decision, I would have probably changed my mind.

Hayden's birthday was great. He has really gotten into Thomas the Train in the past few months so it was a train theme party. Thanks to my loving brother who doubted me, I even made his cake all by myself. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think it was pretty good for my first cake. Hank and I gave him his own lawn mower, he loves to be just like Hank and mow the grass. He is growing up so fast...but he is still my baby.

Hayden's birthday cake, made my yours truly

Hayden enjoying his first bite of cake

Wearing the birthday party hats

Hayden's new train conductor hat, scarf, and train whistle!

New lawn mower

Three days after Hayden's birthday I had my surgery. That brings me to now, I am recuperating. I have seen the surgery...I understand the concept of it all...but I didn't realize how much energy it would take from me and how much pain I would be in. I am moving slow and taking lots of naps, but I am also enjoying my time catching up on things...like blogging.